I really dunno how I should feel.
I've got to admit. I really regret coming to nj. Why these things nv happened during the first 3 months so that I can choose some other places instead of here?
Now, truthfully speaking, I feel better when I'm with squash ppl. Other than that, I really feel like shit.
I mean, the number of times I've cried over happenings I encounter in nj is more than the number of times i've cried for the last two years in ahs. I really think this is not the right institute for me.
I really hate this. Sat, went out with ex-class ppl. not alot of ppl, but really feel attached to them. At least they pay attention to what you say. At least there are some ppl who think alike as you do. At least you know they are your friends. Really regret not putting tj. Just because of a stupid reason and let myself suffer from all these here.
All I need is someone to talk to. I also dunno la. First I get critiques saying that I'm not sincere just because I didnt want to say my secrets. Then ppl start talking behind your back or backstabbing you. I dunno why oso. I really hate school. I thought it was a place for joy and laughter, now it's a damn place full of sorrows.
You see, I've already landed in a state whereby I can tell my heartfelt feelings to my blog and not to anyone I know out there.
I dont see a point why I should act happy in class.
I mean if I were given a chance, I really want to change school. I really can't bear with this feeling anymore. I just cried last week and I'm crying now again. Siao la. Even if I have abundant amounts of water in my body that dosent mean this is the only way to get rid of it.
All the good feelings of 1st 3 months, they're all gone. Last time used to have ppl to talk to, but now I am being an extra here. Dunno la. I really rather numb myself with all the homework.
Tml elections le. Really dunno whether I should run anot. I run oso lose, dun run oso lose out. Just go there and sia suay myself. See how tml.
I really dunno what happened to me. I thought I've recovered from that depression thingy and why am I suffering from it again?
Really sick of it already. Come to think of it, for what reason did I choose nj. Just to be an extra of ahs to choose here loh. Not like here I get ample changes to excel in my studies, not like here house ppl that are more of my kind, not like here I'm going to enjoy the 2 yrs' stay. All I know is regret la. Useless.