I'm not sure how I should feel.
I'm super numb and occasionally sad coz I've been crying for abt 2 hours.
I really wonder how much water I have in my body to have so much tears.
I know I shouldnt be sad, and unlike what everybody, including me, loves to say, "don't be sad la, cheer up", I can't. I mean, if you were in my shoes, I think you can't too. Or maybe you can. Dunno.
But I really wonder why I get this kind of treatment. Maybe it was simply retribution.
And the common tests, well, I really dont care. Even if I didnt score well, I have predicted it long long time ago. Even if my parents gonna send me for tuition and ground me or whatever, so be it. Actually I dont mind. I rather be a mugger than such an emotional person that keeps going out and see stuff that I shouldnt have seen and end up crying.
My eyes really hurt.
I really feel like an idiot. I mean, recalling my reaction to it. I really think I'm damn dumb. I shouldn't have walked there, that's all.
It's just feels like sprinkling salt on my stupid wound again. [direct chinese translation]
I hate the fact that I know nth abt it.
Just a mixture of disappointment and fury.
Whatever it is.