I lack proper management. As in time management. and other kinds of management...
I wanted to study today. But I'm just not in the mood. I never liked integration, unless it's the simple simple kind. I don't understand the idea behind A levels. The difficulty level is like 6 times of O levels? or even higher.. and they expect us to understand it in a snap. Fine.
I'm a slow learner. I may understand a concept on the spot. But I forget it at an equal fast rate too. I just can't understand alot of stuffs, can't see a lot of links. And I seldom practise my maths. I'm like beyond hope?
I really don't understand myself. I'm getting weirder and weirder. I can end up very hyper and suddenly I just become sad sad lidat. I've just come to realize I'm just not sensitive enough towards others' emotions. As in deep down I really don't understand how they feel, what they want from me. I may be talking to a person, I'm happy so I assume he/she's happy too. Well. they were trying to hint to me sth. Yet I couldn't get it. Haiz. It's like I read others' blog or my friend has to tell me straight then I realize. What a wonderful friend I am.
Too many things to worry about. I worry abt my ability to keep that 4 A level subj, haven't take S papers into consideration at all. Why think of them when you have difficulty keeping those 4 subj there? I worry abt my PW. presentation's on 1st Nov. And I don't know my project well at all. Haiz. Not only that, I worry that my relations with ppl will get worse again. I'm afraid solitude will be the thing I'm gonna face once again. The process is painful. I worry I suck at cca again. I've got to admit I'm not the sporty kind. I tried to put in my best. Well~ Then YEP. I'm just scared that bird flu's gonna ruin my trip. I've just got a feeling I can't survive thru the 16 days.
Not very sure. Just find myself very no life. All I know is rant and rant and complain abt stuffs. Other than that, either I watch tv or i rot at home. Shopping times got minimised. My social life sux to the core. I can't play games. I dunno poker, dai dee, bridge all that. Mahjong, just learnt it like recently? If I don't play, at least I can be a professional mugger mah. Yet I'm not. I face this com for so many hours yet I dunno what I've been doing. Practically there's nth I excel in. Haiz.
I find myself an idiot. No life idiot. Plus gu1 lou4 gua3 wen2.
Even like you ask me what's my hobby. I dunno how to answer you. I'm just that horrible.
I dont even have a skill. Play violin, gave up at grade 6. Percussion, gave up when I stepped into jc. Cook. Gave up after homec lessons. I just suck la. Even if I talk, there's no content to it. And I dunno how to lead, can't even achieve anything in jc so far. I just lose a chance like this. I didn't even try my best to fight for it. Kind of ashamed of myself.
I mean it's no doubt why ppl find me such a sian person. No doubt why ppl just friend you for a while and heck care you le.
I'm useless. That's the point I was trying to drive at. I'm just beyond hope