alas! it's friday! break from the hectic school life. cheers!!!
hmm, yest we had chem skill b assessment. haiz. think i screwed it up badly. i forgot all the safety precautions, and forgot to remove the filter funnel from the burette once. oh no. haiz. and there was a time i was lighting up the bunsen burner and the flame just *poof* suddenly lit up while i was attempting to light it up. i think i looked shock and the examiner was so amused. haha. isit sth to be happy of? lol...
off we went to the jap restaurant for cultural mapping after that. stupid lady say we didnt giv her a call before coming aka nv make an appointment when we called her like a week ago?!!!! haiz. but the restaurant looks so posh. haiz. only if i had the capital. and the ambience is sooooooo good. the sixth avenue one isnt bad too. but i really cant afford jap meals, except those sushis in ntuc. lol.
so we went golden rooster to eat. shared a lemon chicken rice. haa. and well, talknig abt guys again, the class guys. well, we've found a way to rank the guys!!! the position they sit in class. well. as in one end is the best and the other end is the worst. well, u shld know which is the best and which is worst.... haha. =X
just dont understand. such things dun happen in ahs. no such thing as ranking of guys and how much we hate them. we are a happy family, well, it seems like. we tease each other and life seems so fun. maybe because we were young? though we didnt admit it at that age. now u think deep into things. ppl u cant accept means cannot accept...but i'll just try to accept them. afterall, it's destiny that they are in ur class. cant change that fact.
went to school early in the morning. 6.45am. just to study physics and write my piece of notes. quite eerie coz it's so dark. think i saw him, at the usual place, but i hesitated. dunno why also. somehow i just wish some things didnt happen, we can be good friends or sth. maybe i think too much, things werent as complicated as i thought they are?
maths tut. haiz. i hate money matters. coz i'm not good at it. i'm a spendthrift and u are asking me to be in charge of class funds? i suck at this. i hate the feeling of asking ppl for money and calculating how much i've collected and owed. haiz. ppl can change because of money. their attitude change. because of money they just hav such changes. dunno lah. i just pay back using my own money loh. afterall it's my fault for not asking ppl to pay class funds.
anyway, any S05 ppl reading this, pay $10 on mon. i dun want my creditors to come after me again. haiz. and i cant afford to fork out $100+ to clear my debts.
PE. finally there's games!!! captain's ball is so fun...heeeee. physics test. haiz. ok lah. i know how to do. method may hav some prob and careless mistakes here and there. i dun care what grade i'm going to get. afterall physics is not my forte. if not because of fm i wouldnt have taken this man.
I start to think that i'm a *****. shall jian tao. and keep a distance away from them. dont giv them the wrong message.
sorry to the person who wanted to play squash with me in the afternoon. i wasnt in the mood to coz i didnt want to tire myself before training. and sorry i just went off lidat. sorry.
mugged for awhile. like 10 mins? and i went orchard with waiteng. initially wanted to hav lunch but the hairband thing took too much time[my fot] and i end up eating tacopachi and she eating curry puff. haha. cheong all the way back for training. lol.
training. today's training sux! i dun like zainal's hell training. i really dont like it. I MISS BENSON. not because of those stupid reasons, but really i miss the way he treats us. allowing us to bargain all that. and his presence. doesnt make us or me pressurised. i feel stressed during zainal's training, and sometimes his words...just hurt. makes me feel inferior and i'm not up to his expectations just make me wanna cry. haiz. i'm a emotionally and physically weak girl. though benson's trainig seems slack but somehow my fundamental stuffs improved. both of them maybe doin the same thing, but the person matters, it affects the way you play. i miss his 4 rounds of running. though we bargain for 3 and less and he allowed us to do so. he know we slack but he didnt utter a word. maybe we only learn to treasure things when we lose them. today, the first thing zainal told us to do was run 10 rounds. 10 horrible rounds! and i hate it coz i've got stomachache. pain like hell lah. and my ankle couldnt take it but i just ran la. what to do. such 'internal injuries'...not like u tell ppl and they will believe you. thank god i did my rounds in 25 mins. quite happy with the results. sorry girls, we were supposed to run together but i ran faster after some time, didnt wait for u all. paiseh.
i think the squashers went to crash talentime. haha. i gav my ticket to yunru coz i wont be going anyway. i want to go home and hide under my blankets. hope they enjoyed it =)
i dunno. i feel down. just down la. haiz. mood swings.
maybe becoz of the 9pm show? ideal story. with the ideal family of 3 close and pretty sisters. [i yearn for that. i want siblings but mum didnt want, i guess] with my dream guy like an zhengxi, who i will neer ever meet in real life. handsome and nice guys dont come for girls like me - ugly & ill-tempered. mummy was right. only dramas hav such nice things..it's all fiction. and she insists that i'm boy crazy. haa. bleahz.
life is full of ups and downs......
[mayb migration is a wrong choice. i dunno]
and to someone out there, sorry i was so harsh to u on the phone just now. i just felt a little irritated when u keep asking me what happened. coz i didnt want to say. i will cry if i repeat the entire story. sorry... i know u were being concerned. and i appreciate it. you'll be my best pal!!!! *muackz* i know u care for me k? haa. giv u a big hug for compensation. lol. i'm very touched when u asked me if i'm ok. haha.
i shall stop thinking abt my complicated relationships with those few ppl. i think tooo much. too much wishful thinknig. too much assumptions and in the end put myself in such an awkward position. i notice them too much. just treat things normally. try my best. gambate! i just want a simple life. haizzzzzz.
sometimes i detest myself for being selfish. i only care for my own probs and not sparing a thought for others. i really changed alot. all my care and concern for friends....it's like gone?
nitez. -starry starry nite-
blah blah black ship!