i wonder how true my friendships are.
all those moments that we spent together, laughing, crying, uttering rubbish. it's like gone suddenly. no one gives a damn what you are doing now. and all those 'i miss you's seem so superficial. (i'm really not targetting ppl. it's a general thing)
mum used to say that secondary school friends are like your friends for life. at that point of time, i agreed with her. TOTALLY. but time proved me wrong. again and again.
sometimes, i know the fault lies with me coz i dont take the initiative to keep in contact with others, deserting myself here. i know i'm passive, i'm like a da siao jie waiting for people to msg me. but actually, thinking back, many times i've sms-ed ppl, and i dont even get a reply in return. ( i've got to make serious reflections about myself)
i really wonder how much our friendship's worth.
and sms-es suck.
maybe i didnt seem to be my true self. i seem superficial to them. and jc friends make me feel weird somehow. i just cant make myself to talk much with them. i'm afraid of offending anyone. i can go crazy with them. but sometimes, when it comes to secrets and deep thoughts, i just cant find anyone to confide in. i do say to some, but yah, i cant go in depth. it's me, i guess. shutting myself from the outside world. i think i have serious psychological prob.
and this blog. it's better to be deleted. practically it feels like me talking to myself. what a dumbass.