i really wanna give up though it's only 4 more papers
i cant take it anymore
what's more painful than to know that i'm a fool
to cancel what's right (and it's one page full of workings)
and change it to sth that's wrong?!
it happened for chem mcq.
now it's fm
i rather have 'Absent' on my result slip than red underlined grades
too painful
everything was alright
till prelims
thank god i wasnt aiming for scholarships
thankz for making me face reality since young
maybe the only thing that i wont fail is mc
but obviously it wont be a decent grade
i think i can just give up on working after As
employers must be thinking i'm so stupid
cant even do maths
and still wanna take fm
cant even be a rubbish collector
coz this job somehow requires common sense
mum's right
i'm the 3000 ppl who came from jc and cant make it to university
if only i was born in some rundown village
i'll be enjoying life
being an illiterate isnt a bad thing after all
at least i learn to grow crops
i learn to hunt
and learn things which have practical uses
and not sit here
typing to a virtual world
setting goals which i cant reach
compete
get mentally hurt
scarred
live in a community with psychos who love to chop each other as if they were some pigs or chickens
study for the sake of money (what you earn in the future)
i rather die in a natural disaster than getting chopped
than having my life prolonged when i'm destined to die
letting me suffer mentally and not physically
i have enough of this world
prelims drove me crazy
can you tell what'll happen to me during As
probably i'll be at woodbridge
dont see the point
study coz everybody's doing that and not because you like it
i like school
but i hate schoolwork
hah.
it's only jc2
4 more years if i could make it to university plus an honours
haha.
obviously i wont make it.
i cant take stress
little stress is good
but this is ALOT
coz i really cant understand why i dont trust my gut feeling
changing stuff that were supposedly correct
it's not only exams!
so much things..
coz i doubt myself
i doubt alot of ppl
i just cant make myself follow my heart
i know reality doesnt work this way
tried working for an ideal life
and this is what i get
shattered dreams
thankz to the one who made the society like that
and if you think this is very healthy
i think u're mad
u've created this model that hurt so many ppl
those who commited suicide
those who have a brain but cant even control what they think
stress is the key
i'm lousy
i admit
coz i cant handle it
despise me if you like
but that doesnt make you a better person