Yay! one paper gone. though not very well done, but what the heck, food chem's gone. (that's the good news)
double maths tml. and physics(which i havent touched) on wed. lalala!
i gonna flung.
pls pls pls stop me from seeing those pics. everytime i see her, i find the ugly side of me. both physical and mental. or psychological. bleahx. if i had been more indifferent.
we were just a step away from being good friends. from acquaintance till now. probably enemies. i nv hate her. but rather sth i did that will make her hate me. (maybe she doesnt) i'm going to be 18, yet i dont learn. i dont care about consequences. yes, and when the thing really turned bad, i start to regret. to apologize. not everyone will forgive me, depending on what i do, i guess. this time round, i experienced this. i'm going to keep to myself more again. i shld stop myself from going too crazy coz this is the price i've got to pay.
k, nobody likes his/her name being published here. or rather incidents that happen on him/her. tell me to stop blogging about it. yes. but it's bugging me. yes. got to live on. yes. she hates this. pls dont read this entry. i pray. pls pls pls. i dont want you to get angry again. all i can do is to make you more pissed. i really cant do things that make others happy.
-start work! -
too much things are bugging me. thought too much about the past, and think i've evolved into a much worse person. i dunno what happened. blame myself. it's definitely not my friends, neither the environment coz others didnt turn into a baddie like me. i think it was a big mistake, for every step i've taken. all the scenes just came gushing into my mind last night, before i could fall asleep. first 3 mths, 4A, band, vdays, tuition. i missed my old self. i know i couldnt turn back time, and i've been reminding myself to be nice. nth seem to help. i dunno. there was a sudden feeling for me to just give up on my future. i know it's wrong. this society has given us too much restrictions, even saying that i wanna give up on my future is a wrong thing. it's my feeling, yet i cant follow my heart. too must responsibilities. they dont only come from work, rank or posts. even as an individual. a simple individual.
i feel like running away from this place. i need to clear my thoughts. facing reality only makes me more tired. forcing myself to accept everything that comes along. it's not the right time to think about such stuffs. (again, there's appropriate time for appropriate things. how stupid. got to restrict when u want to think about stuffs) i believe i didnt give myself all these stress. i pamper myself. yet, where do all these come from?
this entry is so so so incoherent. but it all started from one thought. i dunno what i'm typing but just bear with me. i'm so unsure of my future i rather avoid it. i rather give up. i know the attitude sucks. hate ppl who group things under positive and negative. why must you always think positive, do things that are right? dont you think u need a balance somewhere?
i seriously dunno what the hell i'm typing. yes. wasted ur time reading and i sincerely apologize.
jiayou for prelims, for yourself!