have been rotting again. but it feels good to have someone rotting with me. haha
i'm pissed with myself. i cant control my emotions, i just cant help it but to show it all on my face. what's worse is that i affect those around me, where they are like innocent!!1 i'm really sorry i was moody again, and out of the blue somemore.
hmm, actually it's not that i didnt want youto read the things, i was ok with it, really. but i guess the content was kind of horrible.
i read them all over again when i reached home. a petty girl i would call myself. i tried to make a big woo-ha out of little clues and gestures, when obviously the truth wasnt so. i couldnt help it but reprimand myself, spending all my time in the upper sec days doing such stuff, and i was liek overwhelmed with jealousy. i guess maybe time changed alot of things, maybe the environment affected to. now, i dont really bother so much about such stuffs. i guess there are some things in life that are prone to disappear if you hold them too tightly to urself. i used to be very possesice, but well, some things are not destined to be mine so why make myself so scarred in the end just to get what i want and feel so unhappy after i got them?
well, as usual, i am trying to make myself sound like a pathetic ass.
days ago (dont really want to count), i realized how ill-mannered i am. the ap-ness in me. well, kind of regretted shutting my ears when my dad lectured me abou such things.
and i ought to know where i stand.
and there's this place that i'll refrain myself from going, unless i really have to. i felt damn out of place (aka extra) there. nvm
and i hate it. why migrate?! cant i just be born in hk or s'pore and just stay there for the rest of my life? why return to hk every year and make all my relatives shower me with gifts and hypocritical smiels and concerns? and now i have to go through the hassle just to get the hk ic. cant i just stick to one nationality? and my parents are pissing me off by asking me questions after questions and kept repeating themselves. i need to be left alone for a while!!!
haha. read iris' blog and realized i spent a eriod of time in sec sch drinking apple juice everyday, which sounds...erm, pretty dumb. haha. and it reminds me that i kept drinking green apple green tea too during 1st 3 mths. lol.
those days are over.
and yah, blogger sucks.