well well, trying to kill time in office.
over time, i've found myself a more complex person while i'm trying to find simplicity in life. perhaps it's part of a self-discover process. i've got to admit that, as i grow older, i become less sociable. probably i'm afraid of letting go of friends i've made in school, with all the wonderful memories attached. well, my group of friends shrunk and it's not like i'm very close with the exsisting ones.
and as i grow older, i've become more protective of myself. i feel that there's always this shield-like thing between me and others. i dont want anyone to know too much about me, yet, ironically, i want someone to understand me to the core. i feel it, when i talk to someone, be it a random stranger or someone i know well, i'm always holding back. sometimes, i ask myself, how long have it been since i opened up my heart and just talk to someone?
i know there wasnt a need for me to put up this front, yet i keep doing it.