i cant sleep again. coz i was crying.
everytime i lie on the bed, i want to cry even more. under the blankets. it's the only place i could really cry out loud. coz any louder i'll get scolded for disturbance and for such a pampered kid coz i want things my way.
but truthfully speaking, i didnt have that intention at all.
it's like being accused. and they leave you alone to rot after they hurt u so deeply. they think it's right for you to cry there coz to them, you are in the wrong. but what did i do?
why cant my parents be those whom i can have a heart to heart talk with, whom i can discuss so many things with. when i talk to them, i'm always trying to give a so-called model answer so that i wont get refuted, or scolded or what so ever.
is this ever called a family?
i wish i had the courage to just leave this house and find someone to adopt me. someone who really loves me and shows it and not keep reprimanding me as if i had no self-esteem.
maybe they are just ashamed to have me as their daughter. who's so useless, who cant take care of herself, who cant excel in her studies, who only knows how to spend her money like there's no tomorrow.
i guess, i'm really a disgrace.