life is like juggling balls.
you're the clown and the many things that occupy your life are the balls. some of the balls are made of glass whereas others, are made of rubber so your job is basically to juggle them well.but look, if there are too many balls in your life, unless you are a fantastic clown or juggler, you'll definitely drop some of the balls. but the ones that are made of glass, once you drop them, they break and they are lost, forever. These balls are like, family and friends, relationships and character.The rubber balls are like your career, money and maybe studies, and all things materialistic and more tangible. once you drop them, they can always bounce back up so its a matter of how you juggle them and which balls you choose to drop when it gets too tough to handle.
(copied from some person's blog)
i guess i dropped the glass one. family, friends. broken. i tried picking up the pieces and tried sticking them back together. but you know the glue that sticks the pieces together doesnt hide the cracks in it. what's damaged is damaged.
life seems so empty. and i'm trying to escape from reality by drowning myself into dramas, series after series. it feels so empty inside, the many conversations i share with people are just so on the surface. those empty talks. bahhh.
i need someone to listen, yet ironically, i'm the one that refuses to open up. people may ask if i'm ok and all, but strangely, whenever they ask that question, i felt as if i had no problems inside. problems start to come whenever i'm alone.
it hurts so much. friends who used to have serious talks with you no longer have serious talks with you now. so it's back to the surface-y kind. topics like nice stuff, nice food and all. probably i'm the one creating the impression that i didnt want to share.
and maybe you are right, why am i so hideous about my relationship? what's so hideous about it?