at the airport right now. just gave the slow nus hostel ppl a call, saying i want my hostel back. so the stupid june 30 deadline was for international students!!!
last night i gave this matter a deep thought. initially i rejected hostel coz i didnt wanna leave my family, i thought maybe spending much time with them helps. but apparently everything that happened last night changed my impression. i tried (in my opinion) so hard to make ends meet. i try to be nice to them, i tried to make them happy, yet all my efforts werent appreciated. i get scolded and all that. i dont want this kind of family life. i dont understand why do i have to hide in my room every now and then and cry over the same matter. i tried my best to solve, but if that's what i get, i rather give up.
you know sometimes i'm so happy over the little things they do for me, esp on the night when i came back from camp. but all these wonderful things dont last long. sighhhhs.
you must be thinking i'm always not satisfied. i'm pampered and all that. i want things my way. yah, i somehow agree. but i'm tired. i'm tired to make myself understand the situation, put myself in their shoes and yet none of them wanna understand the terrible thing i'm going through.
how pathetic. i rather type this online rather than talking to my parents about it. i've tried talking, but all i've got, SCOLDINGS. so my life is like that. hah.
i've never had an enjoyable trip with my family before. as i look at other families, i wishhh i could have a sibling too. at least joke around with me at this "dark" moment of my life. isnt it too late to say all these now?