probably it's time to sit down and reflect.
i'm like quite disappointed with myself.
i tried to study with my friends in the library. but i have no idea why i couldnt settle down. i read a few lines of my japanese studies course pack, start finding random piece of paper to draw stuffs on. i seriously have no sense of urgency. i did not check the deadline for my psy observations and as a result, i'm late for the submission. and of all lecturers/tutors, why must it be dr why?! (yes, that's his surname) i've got to prepare myself for the worst. like him not allowing me to submit and does not consider my readings valid, which will then affect my later assignments i guess. and him critisizing my email and attitude and more....
also, i have not read anything for my japanese studies project when my group members had. i start to wonder what have i been doing. at home, i slacked around, daydreaming, sleeping and other time-wasting activities. in a way, i seem to have no idea that exams are just coming in a few months' time and not paying attention to my grades and all.
and i realized, i'm a bad influence. i distract ppl who are studying. i could have self-entertained myself or sth instead of disturbing others who are really putting in the effort to get good grades.
when camy and remmy were teaching me how to answer the questions, i really felt that i'm not up to it, even though they kept reassuring me that i can. i see no strong points in myself. for a lifetime, i've been like accepting whatever's coming my way. i do not comment on anything, or rather, i seem to have no comments at anything. this kind of cultivated me into a person who doesnt use her brains much, thinking critically, and seriously, there's no depth to what i speak/write. i'm that shallow.
maybe time and again, i should remind myself that coming to uni is to study, get good/acceptable grades and set a good path for my future..
unexpectedly, you called me and though i didnt tell you how i'm feeling now. but well, i'm glad i had someone to talk to at the moment. thankx for being there, even you may not know it! :)
and thanks gerald for the milo!!