i hate walking in shopping malls alone.
pisses me off totally.
drive me nuts seeing how slow asses block my way, kids doing stunts and obviously kicked me. queuing for so long just to buy rulers that cost 50cents.
i wonder why parents are so protective. is it a way to show their concern, or rather, they cant trust you to do things on your own?
life would be better if i was given more freedom than this. more trust and all. i'm 19, why would i still cut my finger while slicing the meat? i have eyes you know. so when can i start slicing the meat? 30? 40? 50? somehow i think my parents dont even understand what kind of person i am. they like to put it in a way that they understand me totally, with words like "we know you la...blahblahblah" seriously the blahblahblahs were totally incorrect, but i cant be bothered to argue back and give a forced smile instead. i lose out in family arguments. when i start being loud they call me rude. i always thought home is a place where you can relax and forget about the terrible world outside. maybe it doesnt apply here, where i feel worse than going out. i have to be careful of my actions, my words, my emotions. i do politically right things here, and i'm really tired of all these. i need a place where i can be myself, no interpersonal relations issues to settle, no pressure... but somehow, all these "problems" come as we grow up.
oh i read this on someone's blog and how much she detests clubbing. same sentiments. i hate losing awareness, coz i feel vulnerable too. (although some people didnt believe it, whatever) and obviously, listening to so many stories, i really hate the way desperate people behave in clubs, or even some not very desperate ones.
oh well, the company matters, perhaps.
yaozhi said something about me that was super right. his point of view was totally based on horoscopes, but i feel that everything that is happening now has a reason behind it. and i guess i know why :)