i wished i could be like you,
yet when i realized i couldnt,
and this process repeated many many times,
all i could do was to sit at the corner and cry.
people around you will tell you not to compare yourself with others.
yet i cant.
it's just like a habit? an instinct?
i just cant force myself to stop.
time did not do me a favour this time.
maybe i lacked the courage, or initiative.
i've never felt so upset, so stressed in such things before.
oh well, it's just the second time.
and i swear, there'll not be a third.
i really want to escape, to a land far far away. where i start to live all by myself, and leave all these painful past behind. there's so much i can do to pretend to be happy, and i guess i've reached the threshold.
i would rather someone to come up to me now and tell me how disgusting i am, than sitting here, thinking how much people dislike me.